we have time left to be lazy
by BookkeeperThe
Summary: In which Gabriel is a teenager, Sam has a ponytail, Cas is unintentionally seductive, and Dean is too old for this crap.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes: written for my friend Holly's birthday! She wanted de-aged human Gabriel with wing tattoos and no angst (for real this time). Title comes from the fun. song The Gambler. Set about twelve years after the end of season seven, disregards everything after that. May contain swearing, Gabriel, minor background Destiel, and plot holes. Serving size: three short chapters. Servings per story: one. Not to be taken seriously.**

Dean was bored.

This was partly because the cable was out, partly because Cas was at the store, and partly because Sam was being a bitch. Well, okay, Sam was translating an old manuscript for some Hunter, and it was probably important and possibly life-or-death. And Dean could have gone to the store with Cas if he hadn't been sleeping off a hangover until noon.

The cable thing sucked, though.

"Hey, Sam."

Sam gave a sigh which Dean felt was unwarrantedly long-suffering.

"What, Dean?"

Dean had been intending to suggest that they watch a movie or something, but Sam looked like he expected him to say something stupid and annoying, and Dean wasn't one to disappoint.

"Bet you I can finish this sandwich in one bite."

Sam rolled his eyes and turned back to the translation. Dean smirked in triumph and set to work eating his sandwich as loudly and messily as possible, watching the top of his brother's head for any sign of a reaction. Sam's hair was currently tied back, a concession he had begun making a couple years ago. Dean thought it looked stupid – it was a _ponytail_ – but Sam had been weirdly protective of his hair ever since the Nair incident and any comments about it were met with hostile glares and sarcastic jibes about Dean's fashion sense, taste in women, and current love life. All of which were _fantastic_, thank you very much.

Speaking of his current love life . . .

"Cas! Jesus!" Dean nearly fell out of his chair when Cas suddenly appeared in front of him, his hand clasped firmly on the shoulder of – "Is that a _kid_?"

"He is physically a child, yes," Cas said, while said child – a scrawny teenage boy, maybe about fourteen and weirdly familiar – tried to twist out of his grasp.

"Let _go_ of me, you freak!"

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean demanded. "We talked about this. You can't just _bring home_ people you like. They're not like that damn cat." Which had been a bad idea, also, but that was a whole different issue.

"Dean." Sam's voice, low and urgent, cut through every other thought.

"What?" Dean asked sharply, turning to his brother, who was staring at the kid with wide eyes.

"Look at him."

Dean frowned, but complied, examining the kid more closely. The kid glared back, his anger nearly masking his wariness. He seemed _really_ familiar, but Dean couldn't quite place it . . .

"Picture him like, twenty years older," Sam prompted, "with a really annoying smirk on his face."

"Dude, would you just –" Dean began, and then cut himself off as it hit him. "Son of a bitch."

"Your assessment is not inaccurate," Cas agreed.

"What the _hell_?"

The kid took advantage of their distraction to make a break for it, but Sam caught him in a practiced arm lock, easily avoiding the elbows and feet which were aimed at him with moderate precision – most of them, anyway.

"Dammit," Dean growled as a lucky kick landed on Sam's bad knee and he hissed in pain. "Alright, that's enough, c'mere you little bastard." He yanked the kid from his brother's unresisting hands and shoved him unceremoniously through the nearest doorway, slamming it shut and turning the lock. "Stand there," Dean ordered Cas, grabbing his shoulders and positioning him in front of the door.

"Dean," said Sam, in a half-hearted attempt at his usual disapproving tone.

"What? You got any better ideas?" Dean challenged.

"Than locking the archangel Gabriel in our basement?" Sam maintained his incredulous for a grand total of three seconds, and then sighed in defeat. "No, not really."

"Wonderful," Dean complained. "Cas, what the hell were you thinking?"

"He attempted to steal from me and I noticed his true identity," said Cas with a shrug. "It seemed the logical course of action at the time."

"He tried to pick your pocket?" Sam asked.

Cas shrugged again.

"I suspect the theft was out of boredom more than necessity. He is, essentially, Gabriel, though it appears he has no memory of his original nature."

"Makes sense," Sam agreed. "I mean, from what happened with Anna."

"Yeah, but Anna fell. Gabriel _died_," Dean argued.

"He's been dead before," Sam pointed out. "We didn't even see it this time."

Dean considered this.

"I swear to god, if he made us watch that stupid porno for no reason . . ."

"Gabriel was dead," Castiel cut in. "There is no doubt of that."

"Alright, fine," said Dean. "He was dead. So what the hell is he doing here? As a _kid_?"

Cas cleared his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"It is possible . . . our Father may have believed it . . . beneficial for Gabriel to spend some time . . . away."

There was a brief silence, and then Sam gave a sharp, incredulous laugh.

"What, really? He's in time-out? 'I've told you before to stop breaking your toys; now you have to sit in the naughty chair'?"

Now Cas looked _really_ uncomfortable, which any other time Dean would have been all over, but right now –

"Is it just me, or is he being way too quiet down there?"

He met Sam's eyes for half a second, and then they simultaneously lunged for the door. Dean seized Gabriel around the waist and hauled him backwards just in time to stop him from striking a match. Sam set to work gingerly disassembling the pile of makeshift explosives the kid had managed to improvise from the (admittedly not-quite-legal) contents of their basement – and his shirt. He had a detailed pair of feathered wings tattooed across his back and shoulders, because this whole thing wasn't ridiculous enough already.

"Are you crazy?" Dean demanded, giving the kid a shake as he took in exactly what he had almost set alight. "That shit would have blown your damn hands off!"

"It had a fuse; I'm not stupid," Gabriel retorted sourly.

"It doesn't matter that it had a fuse," Sam responded evenly. "The fumes from this stuff would have gone up the moment you lit the match."

"Thanks for the advice, pedo-tail," Gabriel shot back. "I'll be sure to remember that the next time I'm trying to _escape from a troop of batshit kidnappers._"

"Okay, that's it," Dean declared, while Sam got that miffed look which meant he was about to go into a dissertation on the merits of his stupid hair. "Cas, give him his memories back," he ordered, shoving the former angel towards the current one. "Angel-zap him, hit him on the head 'till he remembers, I don't really care."

"Are you certain –"

"Yes."

Cas shot a questioning glance at Sam.

"Oh, come one," Dean groaned. "Gabriel's a pain in everyone's ass but this little shit isn't any better."

"It's _Gabe_," the kid grumbled, crossing his arms across his skinny chest. "You guys are the worst stalker serial killers I've ever seen."

Sam sighed.

"Yeah, fine. Just do it, Cas."

Cas reached toward Gabriel – oh, sorry, _Gabe_ – and, thwarting his attempts to duck away, pressed two fingers to his forehead.

There was a flash of blinding white light. Dean was still blinking furiously when a voice cut through the after images.

"What the hell did you dumbasses do this time?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I see the world's still here," Gabriel said, pulling on one of Cas' shirts. He was still physically a teenager, and it hung loosely on his shoulders, leaving the top of his tattoo exposed. "You know what, I'm impressed," he continued, managing to sound both mocking and sincere. "You chuckleheads actually managed to pull it off. None of you even died in the process."

There was some uncomfortable shifting, and Sam cleared his throat.

"Um . . ."

"Oh, don't tell me," Gabriel sighed with theatrical exasperation. "One of you pulled another Lazarus."

"All three of us, actually," said Sam, looking a bit sheepish.

"Yeah, but God brought Cas back, and Cas brought Sam back, and Sam brought me back – and Cas again," said Dean. "Though, that last time was more the Leviathans than Lucifer . . ."

"_Leviathans_?" Gabriel repeated, looking honestly surprised for the first time. "What idiot freed the Leviathans?"

Both Winchesters glanced involuntarily at Cas, whose eyes were fixed firmly on the ground.

"You're kidding," said Gabriel flatly. Cas seemed to physically shrink, the very portrait of a chastised little brother. It was an extremely familiar sight, and weird on about five different levels to see in regards to Cas. "Y'know, I'm starting to feel left out," Gabriel continued scathingly. "Maybe I'll go out and unleash an ancient evil on the world, since everyone else is doing it."

"Hey, lay off," said Dean, finding Cas' kicked puppy routine just as intolerable as Sam's. "We fixed it, didn't we?"

"Looks like it," Gabriel conceded. "It was probably half dumb luck and the other half pure, concentrated crazy, but you did fix it." He pushed past them and into the kitchen, where he opened the freezer and began to poke around, his voice echoing slightly as he kept talking, tone lighter. "Anyway, what's the point of a little brother if he doesn't fuck things up every once in a while?"

As much as Dean hated to agree with Gabriel on anything, he couldn't exactly deny that one – which must have shown on his face, because Sam shot him a sour look.

Gabriel closed their freezer with a disgusted sound.

"Haven't you bozos got any ice cream?"

And that was Dean found himself driving two angels and his brother to a place called 'Let's Spoon.'

He was way too old for this bullshit.e H


	3. Chapter 3

Cas was staring at the wall of frozen yogurt dispensers, looking befuddled. Sam glanced over at Dean and Gabriel arguing heatedly about whether peanuts belonged anywhere near frozen yogurt, and took pity on the confused angel.

"Here," he said, taking the empty container from Cas and putting together a simple dish which anyone would like. Vanilla yogurt, fruit, chocolate. "Ready to pay?" he called over to Dean and Gabe, who shoved their overflowing cups onto the counter and kept arguing. Sam made a face at the mountains of yogurt and toppings (his teeth hurt just looking at them) and pulled out his wallet.

"Hi, Sam," greeted the girl behind the counter.

"Hey, Kathy," he returned with a smile. She was the niece of Sam's boss and popped in at the bookstore sometimes on her way home from school. Bright and daring and obviously more than a little intrigued by the mysterious trio who lived just outside of town, she had struck up a conversation or two.

"Didn't know you guys had kids," she said, tone and phrasing carefully noncommittal, eyes curious.

"We don't," said Sam smoothly, his smile not faltering. He knew that there was all sorts of speculation about the exact nature of the relationship between the three of them, and had stopped caring a long time ago. "He's Cas' brother."

"Oh," said Kathy, a little doubtfully, obviously doing the math in her head. Thankfully, Cas didn't seem to age like a human and still looked in his mid-thirties. A moment later Kathy's face cleared. "Oh! Right, he mentioned he was from a big family."

"Yeah, I bet he did," Sam agreed, making a mental note to be more careful about letting Cas talk to the locals alone. "Thanks," he added, picking up his own cup (a reasonable amount of vanilla frozen yogurt, assorted fruit).

Kathy smiled in reply, but faltered when her eyes flickered to something over his shoulder. Her cheeks went pink, and Sam turned around with a growing feeling of trepidation.

"Oh god."

Dean's spoonful of yogurt was hanging, forgotten and slowly melting, halfway to his mouth – which was open, apparently also forgotten as he watched Cas swallow a slice of strawberry and lick chocolate syrup off his spoon. Gabriel, glancing between them, looked torn between amusement and nausea.

"Way to go, Chef Batali," Gabriel said as Sam sank reluctantly into the last remaining seat. "Give him every natural aphrodisiac in the shop."

"So what are you going to do now?" Sam asked, rather than dignifying the jibe with a response. "I mean, you still look fourteen . . ."

"Eh, I'll be able to fix that soon enough," said Gabriel with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Bit rusty, is all. Be back to full power in no time, and then who knows. Might even drop in on the old place, now that they're not trying to destroy the planet anymore." He paused. "They're _not_ trying to destroy the planet anymore, are they?"

"Not as far as we know," answered Sam with a shrug. He glanced at Cas and Dean. They were very much occupied, and he quickly averted his eyes. "We, um –" He cleared his throat and tried again while Gabriel smirked. "We really don't have much of a line on what's happening in Heaven these days. Cas has kind of . . . tuned it out."

"He definitely seems distracted enough," Gabriel commented. "So you guys are officially retired, huh?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's, uh, it's good. We're good." Sam wondered whether he was imagining the wistful look in Gabriel's eyes. No, he definitely wasn't, he decided as the archangel dropped his gaze. He cleared his throat. Oh, he was going to regret this. "You could, uh, maybe . . . stay with us."

Gabriel's head jerked up, a rare look of surprise on his face.

"For a bit," Sam added quickly. "Until you get up to strength."

"You know what, Samsquatch?" replied Gabriel, a wide grin blooming. "I might just take you up on that."

Dean chose that moment to remember that there was a world outside of Cas.

"Wait. _What_?!"

~Fin~


End file.
